to be honest i would like you to revise my "Metal- The Beastly Genre" paper. this paper i thought was my best piece and the one i enjoyed writing the most. when revising this piece i would like you to look for the following:
- should i use more detail?
- should i add more examples?
- should i include personal references/ stories?
- should i rewrite my intro?
Hey Alex,
ReplyDeleteWhere is the draft buddy? You need to get it up here so I can see it. You can add it in italics just under the reflection.
On a side note, because I'm getting to yours so late in the day, please use until Tuesday evening if you need it.
Below are some notes on reflection:
For your opening reflections (this one and the others), I'd like to see several paragraphs where you really analyze your work. It has been an entire semester and you know so much more now than you did back when you wrote this piece. The REAL grade for the entire portfolio is in the reflection on the learning process and how well you can analyze your work. Be sure to use the vocabulary of our course in your explanations and to cite your own writing.
For this reflection, for example, I might have a paragraph introducing the assignment and what you like about the piece. When you talk about what you like, be sure to cite lines that demonstrate this. And then talk about the effect you hope that those lines will have on the reader. After that, get into a paragraph where you talk about the weak points you see. Again, use citations from the draft. And this will lead nicely into the questions you want help with.
You might consider fine-tuning this reflection before you read my comments in the posting below. There is a character limit on comments so sometimes I break them into two different comments.
I hope this helps. I probably won't say too much about your other reflections as I've said much of it here. I will look through the others and if I see something specific for you to address, I'll surely mention it but much of what I might say about reflections, I've said here.
On a side note, if you want to see some samples of how to do this. Some of your classmates have also made similar improvements and you can check them out too. Caroline does a nice job adding in some of the lines from her original draft to show why she feels how she does about her paper:
http://sugarlandd.blogspot.com/2011/01/food-paper.html
And Dan H. made nice improvements in introducing the revisions he made to the conclusions for his 7 Deadly Sins paper. He needs to clean up the spelling but the content is better that his original from a few days ago:
http://dancollegecomp.blogspot.com/2011/01/2-new-introductions.html
I hope this helps. Let me know if you have questions,
Ms. Basko
Hey again Alex,
ReplyDeleteCheck out my site and make sure that you get everything on the list up here for me to see if you want to keep that A. I want you to keep it but you will have to spend more time in this.
Ms. Basko